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The holiday season is often seen as a time for family togetherness, joy, and celebration. For blended families, however, it can also bring a unique set of challenges. Adjusting to new traditions, sharing time between households, and navigating heightened emotions can feel overwhelming. With thoughtful planning and open communication, however, the holidays can become a time of connection and celebration for all members of a blended family. This blog will explore strategies for helping children in blended families adapt to holiday traditions, reduce stress, and foster a sense of belonging.  

 Understanding the Challenges Blended families often face unique complexities during the holidays, such as: Conflicting Schedules : Coordinating plans between multiple households can lead to stress for both children and parents. This complexity often necessitates advanced preparation and clear communication protocols. Parents must work together to create a fair and manageable schedule that takes into account both families’ traditions and obligations.  Emotional Overload : Children may experience a mix of excitement, sadness, or loyalty conflicts as they navigate time with both sides of the family. They may feel guilty about enjoying time with one family member while missing another, worry about hurting one parent’s feelings by participating in new traditions, or experience anxiety about the presence of a new stepparent or stepsibling. Recognizing and validating these emotions is crucial in helping children feel understood and supported. Grief or Nostalgia : The holidays may trigger grief or nostalgia for children or adults who miss the way things used to be before the family blended. They may long for traditions from their previous family structure or experience a sense of loss when separated from certain family members. Addressing these feelings with empathy can help children process their grief in a healthy way. Pressure to Blend : Blended families often feel the pressure to quickly establish a cohesive family unit, particularly during the holidays. The desire to create harmony can sometimes lead to unrealistic expectations and stress. It is important to remember that bonding takes time and that trying to force new relationships or transitions too quickly can cause additional strain.  Acknowledging these challenges is the first step toward addressing them with compassion and intentionality. 


 Tips for Supporting Children During Holiday Transitions Successfully managing holiday transitions requires patience, flexibility, and clear communication. Here are some strategies to help children feel more comfortable and supported: 1. Plan Ahead and Communicate Clearly Children thrive with structure and predictability, especially during transitions. Work with co-parents to create a clear holiday schedule in advance and share it with your children in an age-appropriate way. Let them know what to expect in terms of family time, travel plans, and where they will be when. Maintain open and neutral communication between co-parents about expectations and boundaries. Develop contingency plans for unexpected changes or surprises and consider building in buffer days between big events to allow time for emotional processing.  The more prepared children feel the more they can look forward to the holiday season rather than dread the uncertainty of what is to come.  2. Honor Old Traditions While Embracing New Ones Honoring old traditions can provide comfort and stability while children are adjusting to their blended family. This might mean continuing some familiar rituals from before the family blended, such as baking a particular holiday cookie recipe or watching a favorite holiday movie. At the same time, it is important to introduce new traditions that include everyone in the family. For example, the family might start a tradition of decorating the house together or try a new outing like visiting a holiday light display. Allow space for your child to voice their preference when appropriate and work to incorporate meaningful 1-1 time between each child and parent. The balance of old and new creates an inclusive atmosphere that honors everyone’s history while building new memories together.  
 3. Prioritize Open and Honest Conversations Throughout the holiday season, encourage open and honest conversations with your children about how they are feeling. Listen without judgment and validate their emotions, even if they are difficult to hear. Regular check-ins can help children process their emotions before they become overwhelming. For example, you might ask, “How are you feeling about seeing your Mom/Dad/Caregiver this Christmas?” or “Is there anything you are nervous about with our new holiday plans?” Reassure children that these feelings are normal and let them know they are supported. Simple phrases like, “It’s okay to miss Mom/Dad,” can go a long way in easing their emotional burden. These conversations are important and can foster trust and deeper emotional connections. 
 4. Be Flexible and Patient While structure is essential, flexibility is equally important. Unexpected challenges may arise, and it is important to be patient with yourself and your children as you adjust to the shifting dynamics. For example, a child may have trouble adjusting to spending time with a stepparent or stepsibling, which might lead to frustration or withdrawal. In these moments, it is essential to show understanding and remain adaptable. Allow time for relationships to grow naturally and remember that everyone is learning how to navigate new roles. Aim for authentic connections over picture-perfect moments and work to be flexible when plans require adjusting or rescheduling. 


 Creating New Holiday Memories While the holidays may feel different in a blended family, they also offer an opportunity to create new, meaningful traditions that bring everyone together. These traditions do not have to be expensive or elaborate; they can be simple, everyday moments that foster connection and joy.  Some ideas include: Photo and Memory Capturing:  Create inclusive photo opportunities that respect all members of the family. Allow children to keep photos from both families in their rooms.  Family Storytelling : Share favorite holiday memories or create a family scrapbook. Movie Marathon:  Allow everyone to pick a holiday movie to watch together, creating a sense of shared experience.  Volunteer Together : Giving back as a family can strengthen bonds and create a shared sense of purpose. Shared Meal Planning : Let children participate in deciding the holiday menu, incorporating favorite dishes from both households. Custom Holiday Decorations : Collaborate on making ornaments or decorations that reflect your unique family blend. Gift Giving Coordination:  Create shared wish lists that are accessible to all parents. Establish clear boundaries around budget and quantity. Consider when joint gifts from both families may seem meaningful.  Building these new memories strengthens bonds and creates a sense of continuity and belonging. Children who may initially feel disoriented by the changes in their family dynamics can take comfort in the consistency of these new family traditions. 


 Managing Stress and Expectations The holiday season can be a stressful time for families, and blended families are no exception. However, by managing expectations and practicing self-care, parents can help reduce stress and create a more peaceful environment for everyone. Set Realistic Expectations : Let go of the idea of a “perfect holiday.” Instead, focus on creating moments of connection that are meaningful to your family. Your holiday celebration might not look like a traditional Hallmark movie, but it can still be filled with love and joy. Letting go of perfectionism allows everyone to relax and enjoy the present moment, rather than feeling pressured to live up to unattainable standards. Take Care of Yourself : As a parent, it is essential to take care of your emotional and physical well-being during the holiday season. Self-care is not just about getting a break–it is about making sure that you have the energy and patience to support your children through the transitions. Whether it is a quiet cup of tea, a walk outside, or a few minutes of mindful meditation, taking time for yourself will help you maintain your equilibrium and approach the holidays with a calm and centered mindset. Seek Support if Needed : Navigating the complexities of a blended family during the holidays can be emotionally taxing. If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, consider seeking support from a counselor. A counselor can provide a safe, neutral space for family members to process emotions, manage conflict, and develop strategies for smoother transitions. Counseling can also be helpful for children who may be struggling with the adjustment as it offers a chance for them to express their feelings in a constructive way. 

 Building a Foundation of Love and Respect As you move through the holiday season, remember that the foundation for successful transitions lies in creating a home environment based on love, respect, and patience. Every family member deserves to feel heard, supported, and valued. The holidays are about connection, and with time, flexibility, and open communication, a blended family can create their own unique traditions and memories. Be patient with the process as each year brings new opportunities for connection and growth.  At Heritage Counseling, we understand the intricacies of blended family dynamics. Our experienced counselors are here to help families navigate transitions, build stronger connections, and create a supportive environment where every member feels valued. If you’d like additional guidance or support during this holiday season, don’t hesitate to reach out to Heritage Counseling. Contact us at 214-363-2345 to learn more about how we can help your family thrive.

Handling Holiday Transitions in Blended Families

Introducing the idea of counseling to your child can be a delicate task, but it is an important step in ensuring their mental and emotional well-being. As parents, you want the best for your child, and sometimes that means seeking professional help to support them through difficult times. This blog serves as a tool for how to approach this conversation with your child in a thoughtful and supportive manner. 
 
 Understanding the Need for Counseling Before discussing counseling with your child, it is crucial to understand why you believe it may be beneficial. Common reasons that lead families to seek professional support include: Behavioral Disruptions : Disruptions may manifest as acts of aggression, withdrawal, unusual changes, or harmful behaviors.  Emotional Struggles : Such as persistent sadness, anxiety, depression, mood swings, or overwhelming emotions. Life Changes : Such as divorce, family changes, moving, relocation, changing schools, or the loss of a loved one. Academic Problems : Academic hurdles where emotional or behavioral barriers are impacting school performance. By recognizing the specific needs of your child, you can better communicate the benefits of counseling in a way that resonates with them. This paves the way for a receptive and open-minded approach to seeking help. It also equips you to articulate how counseling can be a valuable tool in navigating personal experiences and specific challenges. This foundational understanding is the first step in advocating for your child’s mental and emotional health.  
 
 Preparing for the Conversation Discussing counseling with your child requires careful preparation to ensure it is both comforting and productive.  Choose the Right Time and Place : Find a quiet, comfortable setting that feels safe and allows you to talk openly without the fear of interruptions. Ensure you have enough time for a thorough discussion without feeling rushed. As this conversation deserves undivided attention, it should unfold at a pace that feels natural to your child.  Be Calm and Supportive : Approach the conversation with a calm and reassuring demeanor. This signals to your child that this discussion is rooted in love and support. Your child will take cues from you, so it is important to be positive and supportive. Maintaining a hopeful outlook can help ease their apprehension.  Gather Information : As your child may have questions or concerns about counseling, it is important to come prepared with clear and concise answers. Familiarize yourself with the counseling process, its objectives, and the specific ways it can address your child’s needs. Showing you have thought about their concerns and sought out information can help build trust and openness, even when you do not have all the answers. In preparing for this conversation, reflect on the words you will use and the message you want to convey. Your goal is to create a space where your child feels seen, heard, and supported.  

 Talking to Your Child Initiating a conversation about counseling with your child can feel overwhelming, yet it is an important opportunity to connect and offer support.  Start with Open-Ended Questions : Begin the conversation with open-ended questions to gauge your child’s feelings and understand their perspective. For example, asking "How have you been feeling lately?" or "Is there anything that has been bothering you?” can open the door to deeper communication.  Use Age-Appropriate Language : When explaining counseling, tailor your language to be age-appropriate, ensuring your child understands in a way that resonates with them. For younger children, you might say, "Counseling is a place where you can talk to someone about your feelings and learn ways to feel better." For older children, consider highlighting how counseling can offer strategies for managing stress and improving their well-being. Normalize the Experience : Reassure your child that going to counseling is a normal and helpful way to deal with problems. You can say, "Many people go to counseling to get help with their feelings. Just like we visit the doctor for checkups, we talk to counselors to check in on our thoughts and feelings.” Highlight the Benefits : Emphasize the positive outcomes of counseling. Explain how it can help them feel better, develop new skills to handle difficult situations and gain problem-solving skills. For instance, "Counseling can help you better understand your  feelings and find ways to cope with things that make you upset."  Address Concerns : Listen to any concerns or fears your child might have about counseling. Be empathetic and provide reassurance. You can say, "It's okay to feel nervous or unsure when trying something new. The counselor is there to help you and make you feel comfortable." Explain the Process : Give your child an idea of what to expect. Describe the setting, what a typical session might look like, and who the counselor is. For example, "You’ll have a safe and private space to talk, and the counselor is someone who listens and helps kids feel better." This approach fosters a safe space for your child to express concerns and curiosities about counseling.  

 Demystifying the Counseling Experience  Preparing your child for what counseling may look or feel like can help ease their uncertainties. Share that the first session is often about getting to know the counselor and talking about what brings them to counseling. Emphasize they have control over what they are comfortable sharing and when they choose to share it with the counselor.  Reassure your child that their privacy is respected in counseling, a common worry among children and teens. Exceptions do apply when it comes to concerns regarding your child’s risk and safety. Discuss limitations regarding confidentiality with your counselor.  Highlight that counseling is a collaborative process. Counselors work with children to identify goals and strategies that make sense for them. Lastly, let your child know that their feedback is valuable throughout the process. If something is not working, adjustments can be made. This reassures them that their voice matters and that counseling is a flexible process tailored to their needs.  
 Supporting Your Child Through the Process Be Involved : Show your support by being involved in the process. Attend sessions if appropriate and briefly follow up with your child after appointments to discuss how things are going. Encourage Open Communication : Keep the lines of communication open. Without pressuring them, let your child know they can talk to you about their counseling experience and any feelings or thoughts they have. Ask gentle and open-ended questions like, “What are you learning about yourself/the world/our family?” or “What learned skill have you noticed makes a difference in your day?”  Offer Unwavering Support:  Discuss how seeking help is a sign of strength rather than weakness. Celebrate small victories and markers of progress.  Be Patient and Understanding : Understand that adjusting to counseling may take time. Progress can be nonlinear and setbacks may occur. Be patient, remove judgment, and provide continuous encouragement.  
 Conclusion Talking to your child about going to counseling can be challenging, but it is an essential step in supporting their mental and emotional health. By approaching the conversation with empathy, understanding, and clear communication, you can help your child feel more comfortable and open to the idea of counseling. At Heritage Counseling, we are dedicated to providing compassionate and effective support for children and their families. If you have any questions or would like to schedule an appointment, please reach out to us at 214-363-2345. We are here to help you and your child navigate this journey towards better mental health and well-being. 

How to Talk to Your Child About Going to Counseling

Emotional regulation during childhood represents a fundamental aspect of healthy development, one that is often pivotal in navigating the challenges of childhood meltdowns. Unlike tantrums that children may employ to express dissatisfaction or to achieve a specific outcome, meltdowns signal an intense response to overwhelming situations, creating a temporary loss of behavioral control. This distinction is critical in understanding the complex landscape of big emotions children experience and effectively managing the behavioral responses that follow.  
 Acknowledging the significance of emotional regulation in childhood, this piece aims to equip caregivers with tools to process big emotions, address tantrums and meltdowns, and implement both preventative and post-meltdown coping mechanisms. By doing so, caregivers can foster a supportive environment conducive to navigating their child’s emotional needs.  



 Understanding the Root of Tantrums and Meltdowns Understanding the diverse nature of big emotions involves recognizing the range of factors influencing emotional regulation and expression. These factors range from developmental stages to individual differences in temperament and sensitivity. Developmental Influences:  The prefrontal cortex, crucial for emotion regulation, is underdeveloped in children, making it difficult for them to control behaviors when emotions are intense. This area of the brain does not fully mature until the early 20s, contributing to the challenge of managing big emotions during childhood and adolescence. Individual Temperament and Sensitivity:  Every child's response to their environment is unique, with some children being highly sensitive and experiencing emotions more intensely. Recognizing and respecting these individual differences is essential in understanding each child's emotional foundation.  External Factors and Triggers:  Big emotions can be triggered by stress, hunger, tiredness, overstimulation, and changes in family structure or environment. Emotional meltdowns may occur when children encounter overwhelming situations and lack the verbal ability or coping mechanisms to express themselves effectively. Significant life changes and traumatic experiences also play a vital role in emotional meltdowns.  



 Understanding Big Emotions in Children Children’s emotional landscapes are complex and varied, requiring nuanced understanding and support from caregivers. Central to navigating these big emotions is recognizing their roots and manifestations.  Anger, Sadness, Anxiety:  While often overwhelming, these emotions are a natural part of children’s emotional development. Unexpressed or suppressed emotions can significantly influence behavior, making it crucial for caregivers to validate and normalize these feelings.  Physical Sensations:   Emotions are not just mental states but can also create physical sensations in the body. Helping children recognize these sensations can foster a deeper understanding of their feelings. Emotional Vocabulary:  Assisting children in developing a vocabulary to describe their feelings is essential. This includes acknowledging emotions, showing empathy, and refraining from immediately fixing or stopping the emotion.  Modeling and Coaching:   Caregivers can model healthy emotional expression and regulation, providing a safe space for children to explore and experiment with their responses. Mindfulness and exposure to manageable stress can also strengthen emotional regulation skills.  Understanding and managing big emotions in children is not only important for their immediate well-being but also lays the foundation for healthy emotional regulation skills in adulthood.  



 Understanding The Difference Between Tantrums and Meltdowns Tantrums Triggers and Responses:  Often a reaction to not getting what they want, childhood tantrums are often triggered by fear, frustration, anger, or sensory overload. They may involve crying, yelling, or stomping, but are generally a method for seeking attention or a specific outcome.  Control and Duration:  Children can exert some control over tantrums. They may stop once they achieve what they want or realize they will not get it through this behavior.  Management Approach:  Acknowledging the child’s desires without yielding and encouraging more effective communication methods are key. Caregivers should ignore tantrums while ensuring safety and teach more appropriate ways to communicate needs.  
 Meltdowns Triggers and Responses:  Triggered by overwhelming situations such as sensory differences, unexpected changes, or communication difficulties, meltdowns represent a loss of control, often resulting in intense emotional and physical responses. Unlike tantrums, meltdowns are not aimed at achieving a specific outcome but are a reaction to feeling overwhelmed.  Control and Duration:  Characterized by a loss of control, meltdowns can last longer and are more intense. They end not when a desire is met, but typically when the child becomes too exhausted to continue or the overwhelming situation changes.  Management Approach : Requiring a different approach, caregivers should focus on removing the child from the overwhelming situation and helping them find a quiet place to calm down. Over time, it is crucial to assist the child in developing strategies to better manage anxiety-provoking situations where sensory overload can occur.  



 Identifying Triggers and Preventative Measures Identifying triggers is the first step in managing meltdowns effectively. Common triggers include specific times of the day like homework or bedtime, transitions between activities, and sensory overstimulation. Recognizing triggers allows for strategic planning to either avoid them or manage them more effectively. Trigger Journal:   Keeping a journal can help identify patterns and triggers leading to meltdowns, facilitating management and prevention efforts.  Sensory Equipment:  Use sensory tools or strategies to help regulate sensory input, creating a low-arousal environment that minimizes potential triggers.  Positive Reinforcement:  Give plenty of positive attention and acknowledge good behavior to encourage more of the same.  Routine and Predictability:   Establish consistent, predictable routines. Changes in routine can be distressing and lead to meltdowns.  Model Behavior:  Caregivers should be clear about behavioral expectations, model calm behavior, take time-outs when angry, and teach self-soothing techniques like belly breathing, grounding, and progressive muscle relaxation.  By understanding and addressing triggers, caregivers can create a supportive environment that reduces the incidence of emotional meltdowns, fostering healthier emotional regulation in children.  



 Coping Mechanisms During a Tantrum or Meltdown When navigating through the turbulent waters of emotional meltdowns and tantrums, caregivers can adopt a variety of strategies tailored to soothe and support the child. These strategies emphasize the importance of calmness, understanding, and proactive measures to manage intense emotions effectively.  
 During Tantrums: Ignore non-dangerous behaviors to avoid reinforcing them with attention.  Model calmness and stay composed. Do not escalate the situation with frustration, taking a time-out if needed.  Offer comfort for basic needs like hunger or tiredness. Avoid engaging in a power struggle or overwhelming the child with questions/responses.  

 During Meltdowns: Recognize early signs of agitation to intervene before escalation.  Guide the child to a quieter, safer space to minimize sensory overload.  Use calming devices, distractions, or sensory items. Implement grounding techniques and breathwork like the 5, 5, 5 method to bring focus to the present.  Modify the environment to reduce discomfort and provide structured choices.  

 Long-Term Coping Strategies: Adopt stress-reducing routines such as exercise, meditation, laughter, and appropriate physical touch.  Build an emotional toolkit with the child for them to use when experiencing big emotions. Emotional toolkits often include calming items such as markers, coloring books, journals, slimes, playdoh, favorite scents, puzzles, soft blankets/stuffed animals, fidget toys, bouncy balls, and a feelings wheel. Seek professional help if meltdowns are frequent, severe, or alarming to develop tailored coping strategies and support.  When practiced consistently, these coping mechanisms can significantly mitigate the intensity and frequency of emotional meltdowns, further supporting a nurturing environment for both the child and the caregiver.  



 Post-Meltdown Strategies After an emotional meltdown, it is essential to focus on recovery, communication, and connection.  Allow Recovery Time:  Give the child time to regroup and regain control without pressure.  Open Communication:  Once calm, discuss what happened in a non-judgmental way. Focus on reflecting on feelings, understanding triggers, and exploring alternative ways to express frustration in the future. If inappropriate behavior occurs during the meltdown, an apology can help mend the relationship.  Praise Regained Control:  Acknowledge the child’s effort in regaining control, reinforcing the importance of self-regulation. Maintain Routines:   Communicate and follow through with the child’s routine to reinforce predictability. Ensure the child gets adequate sleep and nutrition to help reduce the likelihood of future tantrums.  


 Signs Your Child May Benefit from Counseling Managing big emotions is a multifaceted endeavor that requires patience, understanding, and consistent effort. To promote emotional resilience, caregivers are encouraged to model healthy emotional identification and expression, teach coping strategies to help children self-regulate, and seek professional assistance when appropriate. Some signs and behaviors that your child may benefit from professional help include:  Persistent or extreme difficulty regulating emotions despite parental efforts.  Behavioral changes impacting daily functioning and relationships. Trauma or significant life changes affecting emotional well-being.  Withdrawal or avoidance of social situations.  Recurrent meltdowns interfering with academic performance or peer interactions. Understanding and acting on these signs can significantly aid in supporting your child's emotional health and development. 



 Conclusion Through the exploration of childhood emotional regulation, it becomes evident how imperative it is for caregivers to adeptly navigate big emotions and meltdowns in children. Understanding the roots of meltdowns and equipping caregivers with effective tools for emotional management is crucial in fostering a nurturing environment. Aiming to support the emotional development and well-being of children, this piece emphasizes the importance of early intervention and the positive impact of supporting emotional intelligence from a young age. 
 While the strategies outlined above offer a solid foundation for managing big emotions and meltdowns, some situations may require professional intervention. If you find persistent or extreme difficulties in navigating your child’s emotional needs or believe your child’s daily functioning is being impacted by their inability to emotionally regulate,  please contact Heritage Counseling & Consulting at 214-363-2345 for professional support.  Heritage has offices located in Dallas, Plano, and Austin and offers a wide range of services including play therapy (recommended for ages 4+), adolescent therapy, family therapy, and parenting services.  



 




 Sources: https://www.positiveparentingsolutions.com/parenting/public-tantrums   https://www.nct.org.uk/baby-toddler/toddler-tantrums-and-tricky-behaviour/how-handle-toddler-tantrums-public-some-tips   https://childmind.org/article/how-to-handle-tantrums-and-meltdowns/   https://childmind.org/article/why-do-kids-have-tantrums-and-meltdowns/   https://www.understood.org/en/articles/taming-tantrums-vs-managing-meltdowns   

Navigating and Managing Big Emotions and Meltdowns 

In today's digital age, social media platforms have become a hub for entertainment and connection. Among these platforms, TikTok has gained immense popularity, particularly among adolescents, with statistics showing that 32.5% of users are between the ages of 10 and 19 (Acenda Integrated Health, 2023). While social media can offer various benefits, it also poses significant risks, specifically when it comes to how viewers interpret and interact with unverified information. One particularly concerning trend is teens using social media, TikTok in particular, to self-diagnose mental health disorders. This post, therefore, aims to explore the pitfalls of teen self-diagnosis and expand on the importance of seeking professional help.  
 The Allure of Social Media for Teens Social media platforms often have a strong influence on teen culture as they provide a space for self-expression and creativity. TikTok, with its captivating short videos and engaging content, has become a go-to platform for adolescents seeking entertainment. Its popularity has skyrocketed with many users spending up to 95 minutes a day interacting and engaging with its content (Acenda Integrated Health, 2023).   Going beyond mere entertainment, however, teens are now looking to social media for connection, support, and information. Research conducted by CBS News (2023) shows that 1 in 6 Gen Zers use TikTok as a search engine. For example, the hashtag "mental health" has been searched more than 67 billion times on TikTok alone (CBS News, 2023). While conversations centered around mental health can promote awareness and reduce stigma, they can also spread misinformation and lead to inaccurate self-diagnosis. It is, therefore, imperative for parents and teens alike to approach social media content with a critical mindset. 

 Health Information from Non-Professionals User-generated mental health content on TikTok is often presented in short, attention-grabbing videos. While these videos may provide a sense of community and solidarity, they should not be considered a substitute for professional mental health advice (The New York Times, 2022). While some content creators may have personal experiences to share, they lack the expertise and qualifications of mental health providers. They are often untrained and unable to accurately assess viewers for symptoms, distress levels, and compounding factors. It is important to recognize the limitations of these videos and understand that mental health conditions are complex.  If individuals have concerns about their mental health, it is essential to seek professional guidance and assessment. Qualified mental health professionals can provide the necessary support, resources, and evidence-based treatments. Self-diagnosis based on social media content can delay access to appropriate interventions and potentially worsen an individual's condition (Psychiatrist.com, 2023).  

 Mental Health Effects of Unverified Content TikTok often prioritizes sensational or attention-grabbing content, which may perpetuate misinformation and misconceptions about mental health (John Hopkins Medicine, 2023). The TikTok algorithm is designed to show users content that aligns with their interests and behaviors. This means that if a user engages with mental health content, the algorithm may prioritize similar videos in their "For You" feed. While this can create a sense of relatability, it can also reinforce the adoption of inaccurate labels.  Imagine a teen who opens TikTok and discovers a trending video describing symptoms of attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). Highlighting difficulties in holding concentration, sitting still for long periods of time, acting without thinking, and increased physical movement, the content creator then asks users to evaluate whether they experience similar symptoms. After watching several videos with similar content, the user may truly believe they have ADHD and self-diagnose. While it is possible they could have ADHD, it is also possible they are not getting enough sleep or mental stimulation, have untreated anxiety, or even have an underlying medical condition.  Mental health is multifaceted, and oversimplifying conditions can lead to a lack of understanding and potentially harmful consequences. Teens may be over-identifying with a specific diagnosis, even if it does not fully or accurately represent their challenges, as a way to better understand themselves, fit in socially, or justify their experiences and behaviors (CNN, 2023). Teens who use TikTok videos to diagnose themselves with mental health disorders like autism, ADHD, OCD, Tourette syndrome, bipolar disorder, and depression may be misdiagnosing and mistreating their symptoms. In turn, this prohibits them from receiving appropriate care and could potentially worsen their underlying symptoms. As a rule of thumb, diagnostic criteria and mental health diagnoses should be approached with caution and discussed in the context of their complexities (University of Virginia, 2022). Encouraging teens to focus on their personal experiences rather than relying solely on social media is important to promote a more accurate understanding of mental health.  
 The Importance of Fact-Checking and Professional Advice To navigate the pitfalls of self-diagnosis via TikTok, it is crucial to prioritize fact-checking and seek professional advice. Responsible social media use involves cross-referencing information with reputable professionals and platforms to distinguish between reliable sources and misleading or inaccurate information (CBS News, 2023). Additionally, it is essential for teens to understand that self-diagnosis should never replace the expertise of a qualified mental health professional. A comprehensive evaluation that considers an individual's unique experiences, symptoms, and background is crucial for an accurate diagnosis. Effective diagnosis also requires the ability to recognize not just a single symptom but a range of criteria and the ability to recognize how mental health conditions evolve over the developmental lifespan. Only professionals with the necessary training and knowledge can provide evidence-based treatments and support (John Hopkins Medicine, 2023). As caregivers, it is essential to promote the mental well-being of teens by establishing social media safety and responsibility.  

 Establishing Healthy Social Media Habits To promote responsible social media use, teens can adopt healthy habits when engaging with online content. Here are some tips for keeping your adolescent’s mental health in mind as they engage with social media platforms like TikTok: Understand the platforms your teen uses:  Learn how TikTok works, what content it generates, what parental controls can be enabled, and how their accounts can be managed and utilized.  Limit screen time : Set boundaries on the amount of time spent on social media to maintain a healthy balance. The screen time management setting on TikTok allows you to limit the user’s time in the app per day.  Enable restricted mode or family pairing:  TikTok’s restricted mode attempts to block mature content. Even with the filter on, however, be aware that TikTok algorithms may find ways around this. TikTok’s family pairing feature allows you to manage the platform’s safety, privacy, and screen time features from your own account (Common Sense Media, 2022).  Engage in open communication and foster a supportive environment:  Engage in conversations about what your teen is viewing on social media platforms like TikTok and encourage them to share their thoughts, feelings, and concerns.  Be inquisitive and listen:  If a teen claims they are experiencing mental health issues, do not brush it off. Rather, gather as much information as possible. Ask them about how they are feeling, the nature and timeline of the symptoms they are noticing, and what social media content, if any, has contributed to their thinking. Seek professional advice:  When questions or concerns arise, contact a mental health professional. They can provide appropriate and accurate information, conduct comprehensive evaluations, and create a treatment plan that best fits your teen’s needs.  
 Fostering Digital Literacy and Critical Thinking Developing critical thinking skills is crucial for teens to navigate social media responsibly and protect themselves from the dangers of self-diagnosis through TikTok and other social media platforms. Encourage teens to question the accuracy and reliability of information they encounter online, especially when it comes to health-related topics. Support teens in learning how to cross-reference information to ensure reliability and consult multiple reputable sources ending in .gov, .edu, or .org to ensure accuracy (Evolved MD, 2022). In addition, teach teens how to verify the credentials of social media content creators. Assist them in finding sources who possess the appropriate qualifications and expertise in the mental health field. By fostering digital literacy and critical thinking skills, teens can be empowered to differentiate between relatable experiences shared on social media platforms and accurate medical information. 
 Conclusion While social media platforms like TikTok can offer a sense of connection and raise awareness about mental health, it is important to approach self-diagnosis with caution. The allure of social media, coupled with the prevalence of unverified content, can lead to misinformed decisions and potential harm to the mental health of teens. To mitigate these challenges, it is crucial for both teens and parents to recognize the risks and limitations of obtaining physical and mental health information from non-professionals. Seeking professional evaluation and support is crucial for accurate diagnosis and effective interventions. Navigating social media mindfully, establishing healthy habits, promoting critical thinking, and fostering open communication can help teens make informed decisions about their mental and physical well-being. Mental health is a complex and nuanced field that requires expertise and professional guidance. If you or a teen you know has been impacted by self-diagnosis via TikTok or would like more information about mental health content you have encountered on social media platforms, please contact Heritage Counseling & Consulting at 214-363-2345 for professional support.  
 
 
 
 
 Sources: https://acendahealth.org/mental-health-self-diagnosing-on-the-rise-in-teens/ https://www.cbsnews.com/news/social-media-mental-health-self-diagnosis/# https://www.nytimes.com/2022/10/29/well/mind/tiktok-mental-illness-diagnosis.html https://www.psychiatrist.com/news/tiktoks-undiagnosis-trend-spreads-misleading-mental-health-advice/#:~:text=Gen%20Z%20content%20creators%20post,misinformation%20and%20downplay%20serious%20conditions ​​ https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/news/articles/2023/08/social-media-and-self-diagnosis https://www.cnn.com/2023/07/20/tech/tiktok-self-diagnosis-mental-health-wellness/index.html https://give.as.virginia.edu/news/story/calling-dr-tiktok-experts-weigh-alarming-social-media-trend https://www.commonsensemedia.org/articles/parents-ultimate-guide-to-tiktok https://www.evolvedmd.com/resources/tiktok-self-diagnoses-why-mental-health-should-be-left-to-mental-health-professionals 
 



The Pitfalls of Teen Self-Diagnosis Using Social Media

Introduction For children, playing is an innate activity that fosters emotional expression through imagination, creativity, symbols, and fantasy. Through play, children naturally develop relationships, build social skills, express personal fears, concerns, and desires, and learn how to cope with various forms of stress and stimuli (Pietrangelo, 2019).  Play stimulates creative thinking and exploration, regulates emotions, boosts ego, and expands self-actualization, self-expression, and self-efficacy. It also allows children to experience a sense of control and accomplishment while providing the opportunity to actively problem solve and balance new ideas and conflicting needs.  While most children realize that something is negatively affecting or distressing them, they often do not have the same cognitive ability required to label, verbalize, or express emotions as adults do (Koukourikos et al., 2021). Utilizing the child’s primary form of communication instead, play therapy incorporates games, activities, creativity, and play to help address and resolve various problems and emotional needs. Essentially, what talk therapy is to adults is the same as what play therapy is to children. Through  play therapy , children are able to communicate symbolically, express emotions through toys and actions, and work through difficult emotional and psychological needs without the added challenge of attempting to verbalize what they feel internally. 



 What is Play Therapy? Play therapy is a theory-based, structured approach that builds upon the innate learning and communication styles of children. Through play therapy, play therapists help children express what is bothering them when they do not have the verbal skills or knowledge required to convey their thoughts and feelings. In play therapy, toys are thought of as the child’s words and play as their language (Lilly et al., n.d.). The therapeutic relationship that develops between the child and play therapist during play therapy can provide a powerful and impactful emotional experience needed for healing. In addition, play therapists are able to promote cognitive development, adaptive behaviors, and coping skills, and provide professional insight regarding the thinking patterns of the child.  While the therapeutic benefits of play have been recognized and utilized for decades, formalized play therapy and the National Center for Play Therapy were established by Garry Landreth in the late 1980s. Landreth dedicated his career to researching and conducting play therapy, believing in a child’s innate potential for growth, change, and healing (Lilly et al., n.d.). Focusing on the unique therapeutic relationship, the objectives of play therapy are targeted towards a child’s capacity to self-actualize and help the child to: Develop a more positive self-concept Assume greater self-responsibility Become more self-directing Become more self-accepting Become more self-reliant Engage in self-determined decision-making Experience a feeling of control Become sensitive to the process of coping Develop an internal source of evaluation Develop greater emotional identification and expression  Develop empathy and respect for how others feel Learn social and relational strategies  



 Benefits of Play Therapy for Children Emotional Expression and Processing Play therapy allows children to express their emotions freely and without fear of judgment. The play therapy process and the unconditional acceptance and positive regard provided by the play therapist help to create a safe environment where emotions can be explored. Trained play therapists are able to recognize and reflect the emotions that are expressed through the child’s play. This helps the child to better express and label their pent-up or unidentified emotions while developing a broader and deeper understanding of their emotional experiences. The emotional regulation developed in play therapy results in the utilization of more effective and flexible defense mechanisms and coping skills (Shroff, 2023). 

 Enhancing Communication Children communicate, discover the world, and seek to understand themselves and others through play. In turn, play therapy encourages children to broaden their imagination and utilize creativity while testing and recognizing their limits. Given the development of their cognitive and verbal abilities, it is difficult for children to identify, label, and confront their thoughts and feelings. Through this unique play process, children are able to express concerns, challenges, and anxieties and work to understand their complex thoughts and feelings in a way that makes sense in their world (Shroff, 2023). Play therapists are trained to observe and reflect on the play behaviors seen in play sessions, ultimately assisting children in their communication development and expression. 

 Building Self-Esteem and Confidence Within play therapy sessions, children have the ability to dictate how they play and to pick what they play with from a wide variety of toys, materials, and games. This level of autonomy facilitates an environment where children are encouraged and able to grow in their self-assurance and self-esteem. Play therapy also encourages play mastery and skill mastery, which positively impacts one’s self-confidence and self-worth (Shroff, 2023). The increased levels of confidence and assurance formed in play therapy can then be translated into additional environments.  

 Resolving Trauma and Anxiety Play therapy can effectively help children work through trauma and anxiety. In play sessions, children are able to safely revisit, act, or play out, and process their traumatic or anxiety-provoking experiences. With the help of a play therapist, who is trained to identify traumatic themes or experiences that occur in play, children can gradually work through their complex thoughts and feelings. The curative process of play in addition to the safety and security found in the therapeutic relationship allows children to gradually integrate their experiences into their story and, ultimately, work towards healing (Shroff, 2023). 

 Problem-solving and Coping Skills Play therapy encourages the development of problem-solving skills. In play sessions, the child leads the way and the play therapist follows. Play therapists are trained to possess a deep respect for the child and their ability to solve problems on their own if given the opportunity. In play therapy, the responsibility to make choices and to enact change is the child’s. This encourages children to think critically and creatively to overcome any obstacle or challenge that arises in the playroom. They can problem-solve and play out different strategies or techniques, with the support and assurance from the play therapist, until they are satisfied with the outcome. Through this process, children develop problem-solving skills that can be applied to real-life situations (Trotter, 2013).
 Play therapy also encourages the development of effective coping skills and strategies. Through play therapy, children learn to recognize and manage their emotions and behaviors, leading to increased self-control and a greater ability to regulate themselves outside the playroom. Healthy coping skills are modeled and learned through play and the therapeutic relationship. Additionally, play therapy can help decrease disruptive behaviors such as aggression, defiance, and impulsivity and increase helpful behaviors such as self-regulation, communication, and expression by addressing the underlying emotional and social issues.  

 Strengthening Relationships Through play, children develop empathy, understanding, trust, and shared experiences, which are vital for building and maintaining healthy relationships. The trusting and positive relationship that is developed between the play therapist and the child during play therapy plays an essential role in the child’s treatment. Built on acceptance and respect for the child, the therapeutic relationship is key in providing the safe space needed for the child to learn, grow, and heal (Shroff, 2023). The play therapist seeks to explore the world, social interactions, thoughts, and feelings with the child in a way that allows them to better understand and navigate their life. This therapeutic relationship can then serve as a model for the child and can help strengthen outside relationships present in the child’s life. 
 For some, family play therapy could be beneficial to incorporate alongside individual play therapy. When a child is struggling, it is often important for each member of the family to be seen, heard, understood, and supported as an individual and within the context of the family unit. The environment cultivated within family play sessions encourages growth and healing within the family system and within familial relationships (Trotter, 2013). Family play therapy helps to externalize identified issues, decrease ineffective coping skills and defense mechanisms, and increase healthy communication and expression. While play is how children communicate, it is not only for children. Play fosters joy, fun, and creativity which helps to strengthen relationships of all kinds.   




 Is Play Therapy Right for Your Child? Although everyone can benefit, play therapy is especially appropriate for children ages 3 through 12 years old. Play therapy is an appropriate intervention for many social, emotional, and behavioral difficulties or disorders including: Anxiety  Depression  Suicidal ideation  Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) Autism spectrum disorder (ASD) Oppositional defiant disorder (ODD) Conduct disorders Crisis care Trauma Domestic violence, abuse, or neglect  Anger management  
 Research also supports the effectiveness of play therapy with children experiencing problems related to: Divorce, separation, or family dissolution  Grief and loss Academic and social development School avoidance   Physical and learning disabilities Eating and toileting  Hospitalization and chronic illness Exposure to violence  Natural disasters or traumatic events  Life transitions or stressors  Bullying  Speech difficulties or disorders  If your child is struggling, presenting with pervasive difficulties at home or school, having a challenging time adjusting, struggling socially or with peers, frequently sad, angry, anxious, or worried, often experiences outbursts or acts of aggression, appears out of control or does not seem like themselves, or you are not sure how to help your child, play therapy could be for your family.  



 Conclusion Play is an innate and important part of childhood and child development. Play therapists are trained to help children express themselves, their troubles, and their feelings through play, rather than words. The curative factors involved in play therapy are further reinforced through the therapeutic relationship. Trained play therapists strive to establish a therapeutic relationship that is built upon safety, trust, and authenticity. 
 Play therapy  can help children learn new social and relational skills, develop self-efficacy and self-assurance, become more responsible for behaviors, develop creative solutions to problems, utilize more successful strategies, develop respect, build acceptance of self and others, learn to label and express emotions, increase communication skills, cultivate empathy for self and others, and decrease distressing symptoms and maladaptive behaviors.  



 Contact Us 
 Play therapy is often the preferred form of therapy for children ages 3 through 12. Through cultivating a safe and nonjudgmental environment, play therapists gain insight, through various forms of play, into a child’s inner workings, stressors, and difficulties. With this knowledge, play therapists can work with the child to reduce symptoms, increase healthy coping and communication skills, and achieve treatment goals. Heritage Counseling has multiple trained play therapists on staff and offers play therapy in both the Dallas and Plano locations. For a play therapy consultation or to inquire about availability and scheduling, please call the Heritage Counseling office at (214)-363-2345.  





 References: Koukourikos, K., Tsaloglidou, A., Tzeha, L., Iliadis, C., Frantzana, A., Katsimbeli, A., & Kourkouta, L. (2021, December).  An overview of play therapy . U.S. National Library of Medicine. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8812369/  Lilly, J., O’Connor, K., & Krull, T. (n.d.).  Play therapy makes a difference . Association for Play Therapy. https://www.a4pt.org/page/PTMakesADifference/Play-Therapy-Makes-a-Difference.htm  Pietrangelo, A. (2019, October 11).  Play therapy: What is it, how it works, and Techniques . Healthline. https://www.healthline.com/health/play-therapy  Shroff, A. (2023, July 29).  Play therapy: What are the benefits? . WebMD. https://www.webmd.com/children/what-is-play-therapy  Trotter, K. (2013). Family play therapy. In N. R. Bowers (Ed.),  Play therapy with families: A collaborative approach to healing (pp. 91–112). Jason Aronson. 


Kenzi Kostel

Kenzi Kostel, M.S., NCC, LPC-Associate

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The Pitfalls of Teen Self-Diagnosis Using Social Media

The Benefits of Play Therapy